Matt Wahlig
12-31-2010, 09:58 AM
Well, as we bid adieu to a year of utter chaos in sports, let's play prognosticator and come up with 10 things that will probably happen, but who knows with athletes these days.
1. Tiger Woods will go 0-4 in the Majors: Augusta is the only track that fits him. He's won at Congressional, but not under US Open condition, Royal Lytham isn't his cup of tea, and Atlanta Athletic Club is completely opposite from his game. He will win at Torrey in February, and will win the FedEx Cup though, as well as Comeback Player of the Year.
2. All the Majors will be won by the New Generation: Rory McIlroy wins a Green Jacket, not his last. Rickie Fowler wins the US Open looking like a traffic cone, Ian Poulter wins the British, and Paul Casey brings one home for the Sun Devils.
3. Those five guys at tOSU? They're gone, well at least two of them: Sure Coach Sweatervest, we promise we'll come back next year and sit out five games while missing out on millions in salary and endorsements. Right. Pryor announces he's taking his talents to the NFL, and is a fourth round pick at best.
4. Kevin Durant wins his first MVP, and his first Ring: The OKC Thunder will take on Boston in a battle of old school vs. new school. It goes seven games, and the Durantula finally gets his own "MJ-esque" game. Kobe Bryant continues to pout, and demands a trade to the Bulls.
5. The Cubs implode by June: I'm a diehard Cubs fan, and I'm not even ashamed to acknowledge that this season will be a mess. Hopefully Big Z gets traded, and they bring up some of the young talent, WE CAN BUILD ON THIS.
6. The Phillies are mediocre at best: OMGZ the best rotation EVER!!! Stop right there Phillie Phanatics. You'll regret not resigning Jayson Werth, and I think you'll have a tough time winning your division. One of the big four gets hurt, and Philadelphia throws more snowballs at Santa.
7. Michael Vick lands on his feet, but not in Philly: The Honeymoon is over Michael, now you have to prove it in the playoffs in one of the most diehard cities in America. If they get blown out in a playoff game, the Eagles front office flips him for three draft picks and they continue with the Kevin Kolb era.
8. This Fall is gonna be a lonely place: The NFL and NBA will lock out. We will be forced to watch hockey and women's basketball. Citizens will riot, the world will burn, and this is how we know the world ends in 2012.
9. Bryce Harper is fast tracked and gets called up after the All Star Break: Face it, the kid's got talent. Give him a year in the weeds before Strasburg gets back, and prepare for a hopefully legendary battery that Washington can build on for years to come and finally put a winning product out there.
10. Brett Favre joins Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to form the MOST ANNOYING BROADCAST BOOTH IN THE HISTORY OF MAN: You know I'm right. I wish I wasn't.
Happy New Year!
1. Tiger Woods will go 0-4 in the Majors: Augusta is the only track that fits him. He's won at Congressional, but not under US Open condition, Royal Lytham isn't his cup of tea, and Atlanta Athletic Club is completely opposite from his game. He will win at Torrey in February, and will win the FedEx Cup though, as well as Comeback Player of the Year.
2. All the Majors will be won by the New Generation: Rory McIlroy wins a Green Jacket, not his last. Rickie Fowler wins the US Open looking like a traffic cone, Ian Poulter wins the British, and Paul Casey brings one home for the Sun Devils.
3. Those five guys at tOSU? They're gone, well at least two of them: Sure Coach Sweatervest, we promise we'll come back next year and sit out five games while missing out on millions in salary and endorsements. Right. Pryor announces he's taking his talents to the NFL, and is a fourth round pick at best.
4. Kevin Durant wins his first MVP, and his first Ring: The OKC Thunder will take on Boston in a battle of old school vs. new school. It goes seven games, and the Durantula finally gets his own "MJ-esque" game. Kobe Bryant continues to pout, and demands a trade to the Bulls.
5. The Cubs implode by June: I'm a diehard Cubs fan, and I'm not even ashamed to acknowledge that this season will be a mess. Hopefully Big Z gets traded, and they bring up some of the young talent, WE CAN BUILD ON THIS.
6. The Phillies are mediocre at best: OMGZ the best rotation EVER!!! Stop right there Phillie Phanatics. You'll regret not resigning Jayson Werth, and I think you'll have a tough time winning your division. One of the big four gets hurt, and Philadelphia throws more snowballs at Santa.
7. Michael Vick lands on his feet, but not in Philly: The Honeymoon is over Michael, now you have to prove it in the playoffs in one of the most diehard cities in America. If they get blown out in a playoff game, the Eagles front office flips him for three draft picks and they continue with the Kevin Kolb era.
8. This Fall is gonna be a lonely place: The NFL and NBA will lock out. We will be forced to watch hockey and women's basketball. Citizens will riot, the world will burn, and this is how we know the world ends in 2012.
9. Bryce Harper is fast tracked and gets called up after the All Star Break: Face it, the kid's got talent. Give him a year in the weeds before Strasburg gets back, and prepare for a hopefully legendary battery that Washington can build on for years to come and finally put a winning product out there.
10. Brett Favre joins Joe Buck and Troy Aikman to form the MOST ANNOYING BROADCAST BOOTH IN THE HISTORY OF MAN: You know I'm right. I wish I wasn't.
Happy New Year!